Party Insurance 101: How to SAVE a party after a fist fight breaks out – crotchgear

Party Insurance 101: How to SAVE a party after a fist fight breaks out!



Greetings CGNation,

Every once in a while, we get a really compelling email from a customer who had a one of a kind experience giving their gift. Kerry from Lansing, MI sent us this hilarious message and gave us the okay to share it with our other fans:

"Dear crotchgear,

Thank you very much for the awesome products you guys sent me. I have to tell you a story about how a pair of CROTCHVEGAS sweatpants basically saved my friend Marshal's birthday party. You wouldn't believe the turn of events that happened before that, it was a nightmare. First of all, we were at his house and everyone had a little too much to drink. For whatever reason, one of Marshal's "pals" decided to invite three women he was seeing to the same party. Not very smart at all, nor considerate, I know. Surprisingly, but not surprisingly, the girls started talking to each other and they eventually figured out they were all being 'played' by this guy. Kind of a crappy thing to do to my friend Marshal on his birthday ya know? Two of the girls got into a not-so-friendly exchange which led to a big cat fight. Hair was being pulled...the whole nine. The next thing you know some of the party-goers' camera phones came out and no one really wanted to break up the fight. It was ratchet as all get out...can you say WORLDSTAR?! lol I guess you could blame it on the AL-COHOL lol. Marshal kicked all of them out and had a taxi come pick them up so they wouldn't "drive drunk with road rage". Needless to say, Marshal was ticked off at his friend for being irresponsible, and after things cooled down I could tell he was still ticked. There was an awkward tension in the air. I knew I had something to change the mood, so I said "hey everyone, I got a gift I want to give Marshall...come take a look". He unwrapped the CROTCHVEGAS sweatpants and busted out the loudest laugh I'd heard him give in years. I was so happy.Talk about 180 degree mood change. All of the other attendees were curious and once they saw it they too busted out laughing and it became the talk of the party. Everyone asked me where I got them from and I had to let them know CROTCHGEAR.COM! so hopefully you'll have some more Lansing orders coming.

Keep saving parties!


Kerry's story is what our company is all about. We take pride in the fact that even in the worst of moments, the gift of crotchgear can SAVE your party or event. So no matter the event: birthday, corporate meeting, holiday party, or just as a random way to say "I love you and I don't take life too seriously," there is assurance that crotchgear will make the whole room laugh hysterically. 

Order here today and be the hero of your party just like Kerry!


1 comment

  • Austin Reep

    I can’t believe the kind of stuff y’all used to think up in high school and college has actually started making you money. I doubt I’ll ever buy the sweatpants, but in a few years I won’t say no to a trip on the crotchgear yacht.

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