crotchgear Presents: Holiday Shopping Gift Guide 2014

crotchgear Presents: Holiday Shopping Gift Guide 2014

Greetings CGNation,


'Tis the season to be bombarded with all sorts of gift ads for your holiday shopping needs. You can either buy this scented candle, buy this toy truck, or buy this other common gadget that everyone else either already has or will have come December 25. Geez... how does one give a gift that truly stands out among all the mundane and played out gifts that will be given this year? 


It's simple....the answer is crotchgear. Of course, we don't offer the only "one of a kind" gift out there, but we do offer a gift that is proven to make your entire family laugh hysterically. Even if your gifts suck terribly for the next five years to come, these people will always think of that one time you got them crotchgear sweatpants, yoga pants, and athletic shorts and will smile. Consider us an insurance policy for your credibility as a gift giver; you're covered (and your crotch is too)! 


We have compiled a small gift guide for purchasing our products this holiday season. Rest assured we have something for the entire family. These are just 15 scenarios where crotchgear makes for the perfect gift. Here we go...



1. My dad loves his car more than mom. 

2. My sister is a P.I.T. (princess in training) and always thinks she's the cutest thing in the room. 

3. My sister spends most of her time going to night clubs and/or her current role model is Miley Cyrus. 

4. My brother sold a kidney just so he could buy a Playstation 4. 

5. My brother or dad proudly displays all of his whey protein and creatine canisters in the kitchen and lives in the gym. 

6. My mom bakes non-stop and my dad is the unofficial taste tester. 

7. All of my cousins play soccer. All of them have either gotten a yellow card or red card before. 

8. I need a gift to let my family know I've got more than enough holiday spirit.


9. My brother thinks he is Michael Jordan even though he sucks at Basketball.

10. My mom lives on the couch and watches Netflix all day. 

11. My brother just finished his latest tour of duty in the military and will be home for the holidays. 

12. My sister constantly makes fun of people who either run marathons or do CrossFit. 

13. My dad is a Republican. 

14. My mom or sister spends more money on Starbucks than my family spends on certain bills. 

15. My brother is in college and he can't stop bragging about his 24-0 record on the beer pong table. 





Have a situation in which crotchgear made the perfect gift for you? Let all of us know in the comments below! 


All the best,


1 comment

  • Hillary

    I miss the old pesky squirrel design! Any chance of it coming back?!

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