Welcome CGNation, fans of crotchgear, and crotch enthusiasts everywhere,
You asked for it...no, come to think of it, you BEGGED for it. And now, crotchgear has transported you to a whole 'nother level of 'humor below the belt' with our semi-bold underwear product line! Exciting? You bet! crotchgear semi-bold is for the sneakiness in all of us; almost all of the same funny designs that we offer on our sweatpants can now be worn without anyone knowing. Well, except for that hottie you're about to go hit on in Spanish class, AM I RITE? (wink, wink, pound it son). Consider this your one common link with Superman. The only difference is that he gets to rip off his shirt, revealing a diamond "S" while you're ripping off your pants because that taquito and energy drink from the gas station didn't quite mix and now the porcelain throne is about to pay the price!
Now, for those of you who have been highly anticipating this day, allow us to delve deeper into what semi-bold is, what it's not, what you can expect from it, and why the egg salad is currently missing from your fridge (we may or may not have stolen it for an April Fools joke, jus' sayin').
Ok already, one at a time. Sheeesh. Just raise your hand and we'll take your question:
Question 1: Wait, you're telling me you guys are now selling underwear?!
A: Yes. And more specifically, boxer shorts. Well, at least for the introductory phase. You see... boxer shorts are classic and have stood the test of time. However, if you guys would like to see your favorite crotchgear designs on more types of underwear than just boxer shorts, send us an email (email@example.com) and let us know!
Question 2: Are the boxer shorts going to be as comfy as your sweatpants are?
A: Absolutely. We have partnered with Hanes brand underwear to send you guys the comfiest boxer shorts possible (in addition to the funniest boxer shorts possible). The boxer shorts are made from woven cotton and are breathable. They come with a wide ribbed elastic waistband for a smooth and non-bending fit. The roomy and generous cut provides a flexible ease of movement.
Question 3: When can we expect these boxer shorts to become available for purchase?
A: As a matter of fact, if you're reading this, you can get them right now! Just go to our 'Products' page and click on any design. If 'Boxer Shorts' are a clickable option, you can purchase them with that design.
Question 4: How should I decide what size boxer shorts to order?
A: The following sizing chart contains sizing information for our boxer shorts (courtesy of Hanes).
Question 5: Will the shipping costs for semi-bold line be any different than the shipping costs for sweatpants?
A: Our underwear is much lighter and smaller than our sweatpants and as a result, we can send multiple pairs of the underwear for the same rate as one pair of sweatpants. If you have more detailed questions regarding shipping costs for our products, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Question 6: Will there be a way to return or exchange the boxer shorts if I do not like them?
A: The short answer: no. To find out why, click here.
Question 7: I've always wanted 'Pesky Squirrel' on a pair of boxer shorts. Are there plans to offer that design on the semi-bold line?
A: You will certainly notice that we aren't offering the 'Pesky Squirrel' design on the semi-bold line. We realize that this may make your blood boil. You may find yourself having seizures. If either occurs, it's probably a good idea to seek professional medical attention (yeah, we'll leave that in your hands because like George Clooney, we're not doctors). What we do know though, is that the creme rises to the top, and over the past year 'Pesky Squirrel' has proven itself worthy of staying in public eye for everyone to laugh at. So if you're really down with the furry guy, you'll have to let him breathe and get him on a pair of our original sweatpants.
We hope we've answered all the questions you guys have concerning the new crotchgear semi-bold product line. If you have more questions, please email us at email@example.com.
You may hit "back" on your browser window or click on 'Products' above to continue shopping.