About Us 2.0 – crotchgear

"Attention Friends (with a sense of humor)...

Are you looking for a truly unique and hilarious gift to give your friends and family members?

Have you run out of ideas on what to give the men in your life?

Have you been accused of giving terrible gifts in the past?

Are you looking to become the "hero of the holidays" this year and have everyone in the room bow down to you as the greatest gift giver they know???"

Well look no further!

You are at crotchgear.com, and as our name implies, we sell gear for crotches, specifically "sweatpants with personality"!

As ridiculous as that sounds, our gifts are much more than the most comfortable sweatpants on the planet. They are also the most hilarious and will be a guaranteed HIT at this year's holiday gathering of choice. 

Look, we understand what it's like to be on the giving AND receiving end of a lame gift.

  • Candles
  • Bath Soap
  • Plastic toys that break after they're only used once or twice.

Nothing says afterthought or last minute than gifts like these.

Disappointment from the recipient.

Instant regret from the gifter.

Truthfully, it leaves a bad impression. Almost as if you don't care about the person you give it to.

And that's obviously not a good thing!

I used to do the same thing and I learned the hard way.

I gave my sister some nice smelling bath soap one year...

My thought: women love soap and everyone uses soap, so this is perfect.

Boy was I wrong.

My gift was perceived as lazy. Like a last minute find at the bargain bin.

There was no emotional interest in the soap. It was so basic and utilitarian.

My sister wouldn't let me hear the end of it even years later! She kept referencing "the soap year".

Of course, she was joking with me, but truthfully I still felt guilty about it years later and even became self-conscious of all of the gifts I was giving.

Whether or not I was close with the recipient. It didn't much matter.

I was on the chopping block with every single wrapped gift.

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"It's the thought that counts"? Not always.

And women aren't the only one who feel this way.

Men love exciting gifts that bring them joy.

This could mean a tool set.

This could mean a pool table.

Or it could mean a really awesome piece of clothing that they'll wear over and over again and think about YOU everytime they do. 

My name is Adam and I am pretty much a regular guy.

Except, I have cracked the code for memorable gift giving! 

Because of the tragedy that was my sister's soap gift, I wanted a way to make sure I was always giving a gift that was the most memorable in the room.

Everytime! Without fail. No second guessing anything. 

My buddy Andrew knew my pain. One night in 2011, he was watching a Dave Chapelle skit that involved Soffee chearleading shorts and he thought about how cool/stupid/hilarious it would be to copy the concept of funny images and put them on the front side of pants.

He told me about the idea and I thought it was a winner of a gift idea.

We decided to join forces and this is exactly how crotchgear was born!

We designed a few prototypes and sent them to some of our other best friends. They could not stop laughing! We figured okay, they're our friends. They have some bias. Let's wear these out and see what kind of reactions they get if any.

We hit the mall and local university, and sure enough, people were pointing and laughing hard, wondering where they could get some of them. We knew we had stumbled upon something big! 

After shopping around some local screen printers, we decided to partner with a nationally recognized garment printing company that services other big names and companies like Nike, NBA, NFL, NHL, and others. We figured they could scale with us if we grow. To this day, we use this company as our fulfillment partner, and they do one hell of a job for us, shipping out hundreds of orders per week! We couldn't be happier.

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So why crotchgear?

Let's be completely honest. There are a lot of gift options out there.

But how many gifts have you bought where you were super excited to give them?

Honestly, gift giving is not an easy thing to do if you plan on doing it right!

And what's even harder is making the whole room erupt in memorable laughter when they see your gift.

How many gifts have you given that have made the rest of the room instantly jealous they didn't give or receive your gift?

Would you say you could count these experiences on one hand? 

With our products, gift jealousy will be common! Almost always.

  • Our sweatpants are made from premium materials and are extremely comfortable, They will last for years (both the graphic and the pants) and will be worn extensively by the recipient for days, possibly weeks at a time. 
  • They have pockets, so in a practical sense they can be worn anywhere. From couch to gym and in between, the recipient can make other people laugh anywhere they decide to wear them. This will make them feel good too! 
  • There is no other gift like crotchgear around! You are ensuring your gift will be the most uniquely hilarious thing many of the people around you have ever seen. 
  • Our customer service is second to none. We ship fast and offer a 30 day money back guarantee! Shipping is free on all products anywhere in the United States! 
  • Your recipient will never see it coming! How can they expect something like hilarious sweatpants??? Seriously, be the hero of the day! 

As mentioned, we ship out 100s of sweatpants a week. Over the last several years we have serviced over 8,000 customers from all over the world. Name a country, there is likely a satisfied crotchgear customer who lives there. 

We have been featured on many websites like BrittanyHerself.com, the front page of Reddit.com, IncredibleThings.com, Pinterest's Popular Page, Break.com, TeeHunter.com, TheGiftInsider.com, WeKnowAwesome.com and many more. 

Even Comedy Central's Ralphie May (Last Comic Standing) demanded a pair that he could wear on stage during one of his acts! 

It's been a great run so far, but our mission is not complete until you join us in giving the best gifts out there! 

You can't go wrong with this incredible Guarantee!

We're so absolutely sure that crotchgear sweatpants will be the greatest gift you ever give that we're offering an unconditional, NO-question-asked 30-day money back guarantee.

If for whatever reason our products do not satisfy you or your recipient in any way, simply contact us within 30 days from the day your purchase arrives and we'll refund you right away!

So, if for any reason you're not happy, you can get your money back within 30 days. Simply contact us. No monkey business. We will always refund our money. Give it a try...

You have nothing to lose!


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