Contact Us – crotchgear

You got questions? We got bologna. 


We know you're likely here to find a direct line to reach us, but there is a 86.77% chance your question was already answered here in our FAQ section (we hired a Statistician to come up with that number, and yes, we're joking). Before contacting us, save those fingers some unnecessary typing and look here for your question. If you can't find what you're looking for, contact info is at the bottom of this page.      


I'm new here and I'm kinda intrigued...

  • Are you guys socially active?
  • A: Yes! Have a peak at the top right of this page below the 'view cart' link.
  • Word on the street is that crotchgear products are really comfy. Do share!
  • A: The word on the street is correct. Here are some specifics:


    crotchgear proudly uses high quality sweatpants, and trust us: they're super comfy! Our sweats are light and flexible and if you expand/shrink over time, the sweats will move with you! The pockets are deep and will give your phone, wallet, keys, and mp3 player comfortable transportation. Our sweats are great for lounging around the house or heading out for the day. 

    yoga pants

    crotchgear yoga pants are the comfiest, coolest, and downright most hilarious yoga pants on the market! Forget the plain and boring yoga pants that everyone else wears and make a statement with our plentiful collection of awesome designs. You will definitely fall in love with the flexible and ultra comfortable quality of the garment (92% cotton, 8% spandex, combed ring spun spandex jersey). The pant lengths run long to ensure proper sizing*. These yoga pants experience minimal shrinkage and come with a clean finished waistband perfect for either exercise or "on the go" errands.

    *As is not unusual with most yoga pants, these pants may need to be hemmed to match each customer's specific height.

    athletic shorts

    crotchgear athletic shorts are made for sports enthusiasts of the crotch kind! With 100% polyester moisture-wicking and breathable mesh material, you can be confident that your performance on the court, field, and gym remain top notch! These shorts are full cut with a covered elastic waistband with inside draw cord for perfect fit. The deep side seam pockets allow you to jam out to your favorite hits while you feel the burn. The 9 inch inseam is styled after modern athletic shorts and leave plenty of real estate for fashionable crotch humor.
  • I'm interested, but I'm also a broke college student. Does crotchgear ever host any sales or toss out discounts?
  • A: Would it be dangerous to use nunchucks to destroy a piñata full of explosives?
  • I'm not from the United States. Does crotchgear ship to my country?
  • A: More than likely, yes! To test, just checkout with any product and enter in your shipping address. If for some reason we do not ship to your country, you will find out before you pay for the order.
  • My friend told me that you guys have a really entertaining newsletter. How can I view it or join it?
  • A: Tell your friend we said that's what's up! We really work hard to make our 'Behind the Threads' newsletter as interesting and as funny as possible (think about how bored you get when your mom insists on telling you how she makes her special pot roast -- we don't want to fall in the same camp). We always post our BTT newsletter on our crotchblog™ so check it out there; if you like what you see and would like to have BTT sent straight to your email, you can sign up for our mailing list here.

Alrighty, I want to place an order...

  • How should I decide what size garment to order?
  • A: Most of our garments are cotton, so inherently they will shrink some. If you're worried about shrinking, order a size larger than you normally would for the garment in question. Most of our sizes run from S-XXL at this time; however, should interest dictate offering larger sizes, we will add them. Specific sizing charts are located on all of our product pages under the about product tab.
  • How much will shipping cost?
  • A: Shipping costs are a function of two factors: your distance from us and the number (and types) of products in your order. We ship from the eastern side of the United States, so orders on the West Coast of North America will cost slightly more to ship than more localized orders. Our sweatpants are made of 9.5 oz cotton and it isn't uncommon for it to cost us up to $10 to ship one pair somewhere in the US. Other garments we sell are much lighter and smaller than our sweatpants and as a result, we can send multiple pairs of those for the same rate as one pair of sweatpants. Regardless, we never "pad shipping costs" and only charge the customer what it costs us to ship. If you have more detailed questions regarding shipping costs for our products, please contact us.
  • How long will it take to get my gear?
  • A: Shipping distance from North Carolina and Pennsylvania (where we ship products from) will impact the time it takes for your order to arrive. Please allow/expect your order to arrive 10-14 business days from the time you place your order (however, don't be surprised if your package shows up much sooner). Also, we ship packages through the US Postal Service which will generate tracking information. You may use this information to locate your order mid-route. If several days pass after you order and you don't receive this notification, your order has most likely not yet shipped. Also, please keep in mind that the further you are away from the East Coast, the longer it will take to ship.
  • I notice you offer an expected delivery time of 10-14 business days on all orders, but I NEED my product sooner. Can you overnight ship it?
  • A: Here is our fair warning: because of our current production process, we cannot expedite overnight shipping on any orders; therefore, make sure you do not wait a few days before any major holiday or event to order from us. We will also post deadlines and other info regarding holiday orders throughout our site, mailing list emails, and crotchblog™. At crotchgear, we always try our best to accommodate as many customers as possible even during the extra tough holiday seasons. It is our goal to one day add an overnight shipping option, but it just is not feasible for our company to do this at our current size and volume. Thanks for understanding.
  • But I rarely order anything online. What is crotchgear's return/exchange policy in case I'm not feeling what I get?
  • A: Thanks for doing your homework. Click to see our return/exchange policy.

Shucks, I'm having ordering issues...

  • I have a discount code to use and I can't find where to put it.
  • A: Our discount codes are always entered on the last screen of our checkout process. If you have not seen the page, keep going. If for some reason you place an order and miss the discount code box, as long as it is within an hour of ordering, we will enter the requested coupon manually. Just contact us and we can take care of that.
  • I live outside of the United States and noticed that shipping charges to my country seem a bit high. Why so?
  • A: We hear you loud and clear! Anything above $15 seems to be a bit outrageous for shipping funny clothing across the border. However, we never, and we repeat NEVER, make any profit off of our shipping charges. The shipping costs you pay are exactly what USPS charges us to ship our product to you. If this makes it a challenge to purchase from us, we understand; however, we occasionally host sales and deals for our international friends: Canadian Appreciation Day is a prime example. Connect with us on social media and join our mailing list if you would like to learn more.

I ordered not too long ago...

  • Well, more like a week ago, and I never received an order confirmation? Golly, is this a scam? 
  • A: Perhaps the only reason why you may not have received an order confirmation from us: you made a typographical error on your email address when you ordered and didn't realize it. After each order, our storefront server automatically generates an order confirmation email and instantly sends it to the customer's email address supplied in the order. When a typo is made on an email address, it usually results in the order confirmation being sent to an email address that does not exist and therefore "bounces". When this happens, we get an email with a "bounce" notification that says "we could not send the order confirmation to" Now, since this customer's email address could be 'JennHottie41221', 'JennHottie41222', or any other combination of letters and numbers for that matter, we wait until they contact us to resend them their order confirmation. So, long story short, if you have not received your order confirmation, contact us and we will resend it to you.
  • And I accidentally gave y'all the wrong shipping address. Is it too late to fix it?
  • A: That will depend. If you made any mistake during ordering including (but not limited to): wrong size, wrong name, wrong shipping address, etc., please contact us IMMEDIATELY so that we can try to correct the error before shipping out your order. We will not be held liable for any careless mistakes made by the customer that lead to order delays and reshipping fees.
  • I need a refund from you guys. Can you mail it to me in the physical form of a check, cash, money order, etc.?
  • A: The short answer: no. The long answer: because we are an online business that handles most of our transactions over the internet, most of our funds are held online. To keep our overhead costs minimal, we only offer refunds through our web store provider at this time. The upside to doing it this way is that your refund will show up WAY QUICKER than if we send you the funds in physical form. Although your refund wont show up immediately, it will show up on your next billing cycle statement. Thanks for understanding.
  • My mail person always delivers important packages to my doorstep and I think my order was stolen. Will you guys send me a replacement?
  • A: No, and here is why. Once an order leaves our facility the liability of loss shifts to USPS. If USPS loses a package mid-route, they will reimburse us to send replacement products. If a package is marked as "delivered" in the USPS system, it then becomes the responsibility of the home owner or apartment complex to make sure the package is received safe and sound. The reason why many apartment complexes hold packages for their residents is to avoid stolen parcels. Therefore, we cannot be held responsible for any orders not received by a customer after the tracking status is marked as "delivered". If you live in an apartment complex and are worried that your order might get stolen, please contact a manager from your apartment complex and ask them to make an effort to hold the package.
  • I'm worried that the package my order is sent in will give away what's inside. How discrete is my package?
  • A: Occasionally, we do receive some concerns about how order packages look when they arrive. Sometimes, it's because the order is a gift and the buyer lives with the recipient. Other times, the package may be sent to a professional office and the word "crotch" pasted all over the bag/box may raise some eyebrows. Regardless of the scenario, our packages are very discretely mailed in a white poly-mailer or USPS flat rate shipping box (depending on order size). Both package styles only disclose the word "crotchgear LLC" very small in the from line of the label. Short of not even including our company line on the postage (we are required to), you wouldn't even know the package came from us.

I just received my super dope crotchgear, and... 

  • An item I ordered is a smidge too small. What should I do?
  • A: All regular sweatpants, athletic shorts, and yoga pants orders not marked "as-is" come with one exchange. Click to find out everything you need to know about completing a return/exchange.
  • I went out to play and they got dirty. What is the best way to wash my crotchgear?
  • A: Typically, all crotchgear products should be turned inside-out before washing. This method is the most effective at protecting against design fading. In addition, wash with cold water to provide maximum protection against shrinking and don't use bleach or detergents that contain bleach. 

I know this is kinda random, but...

  • When was the last time you guys went to Disney World?
  • A: Some time ago. Although one of our founders went back in 2006. Thanks for asking!
  • What should I do if I have an idea for a crotchgear design?
  • A: We are very interested in your ideas and designs! If you have a sweet crotchgear design in mind that you think would make a great addition to our brand, feel free to share it with us. If we decide to market your design, we'll send you free store credit! The more designs you submit, the more likely we'll select one of your designs. If you only have an idea for a design, that's cool too! Send us the design idea and if we end up turning it into a product, we'll give you an ultra cool shout out.
  • You guys are so cool that it inspired me to start my own business. I was wondering if I could borrow some of your design ideas to get a "head start" on the success track?
  • A: First off, congrats on starting your new business, buddy! Glad we could inspire you. With that said, PLEASE, don't even THINK about copying one of our designs for use in your shop without the express permission of crotchgear. Honestly, permission will not come easy from us and we will deny roughly 99.9% of requests to use or closely imitate any of our designs. All of our designs are protected by copyright before we even put them up for sale and we have great legal representation, so trying us won't be wise!  Side Note: for all of our "Sherlock Holmes" out there, if you happen to notice any products out on the streets or internet that closely resemble our products (in design) and you are the first to notify us about it, we will take up to $10 off your next order. Send all links and necessary information about the perpetrators to us here and "help us take a bite outta crime," GRUFFF!
  • I have a pair of some ::insert clothing of choice:: here at the crib. Could you just send me one of the designs so I could stick it on my own pair?
  • A: Negative. Here at crotchgear, we take 100% responsibility for the quality and reputation of our brand and brand equity. Hypothetically, if we were to mail you one of our designs, you could take it and literally put it anywhere you wanted to, and honestly...that's a scary thought. 
  • Can I get sponsored by crotchgear or partner with crotchgear?
  • A: Yes! Here at crotchgear, we are always looking to expand upon our ideas and reach new markets. If you have an idea for a partnership or a way for us to sponsor you, please contact us with your ideas!

the top 3 ways to contact crotchgear

 You didn't find the answer to your question above. Bummer! But that's okay...

We have the world's best customer service staff!

We are available Monday through Friday from 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM EST to answer your questions. 


In order of preference, here are the top 3 ways to get in touch: 

 #1. use our swell contact form

We respond quickly and courteously (usually within 12 hours). Click here to give it a shot! 


#2. call our customer hotline at 704.412.8933

Did your keyboard or typing capabilities die? Go 'head and pick up the telly. If you do this, please state a best email address to reach you and please spell it for us (we will not call back customers except in extreme cases). Please keep in mind that email is our preferred method of communication and if you contact us through our contact form, we promise to be polite, clear, and thorough in our communication. That is all.  


 #3. send us a smoke signal

Yeah, you don't want to go there


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